Big Brother: LOTR Style
by Obi wan Kanoli
Summary: Just what the title states. The Fellowhip and a few others are sharing a house together. Only problem is, they don't know each other, or anything about each other.
1. Chapter 1

Big Brother: LOTR style!

Dislaimer: I own absolutely nothing...yet. Mwuahahaha.

**Author's Note: **Ok, so this is based on Big Brother, but there is not evicting games or anything. Sure, there will be challenges but I'm not gonna make it where one person wins a lot of money or whatever. I guess you could say it was kinda like The Real World, but with more people.It will be based in modern times, not the time period of the Fellowship of the Ring. If I get some stuff wrong, just let me know!

Chapter 1:Meeting the roomies.

A black limo pulls up in front of the magnificent manshion in New Zealand. The house was a stark white, and was built right beside a river, about two hours from town. Out of the limo steps a tall, straping, blonde haired man. His hair was a little longer than shoulder length, and fashioned in braids, like that of a warrior. If you took a closer look you would see he had pointed ears, and blue eyes. He was wearing a red Abercrombie polo, and a pair of Hollister jeans. In one hand he had a cell phone, in the other a purse. Yes. A purse. A big, huge, Chanel purse.

"Like, OMG! This house is GORGY! I'm know I'm gonna love it here!" squealed the man." Jeffery!! Grab me bags won't you? I'm going to check out my new room!" with that the man gracefully walked into the house, flipping his hair over his shoulders as he went. Another man, Jeffery, stepped out of the limo to retrieve the man's bags. "Yes master Legolas!" he said while heading towards the trunk, "or should I say Mistress Legolas." he grumbled. He grabbed the bags, all Louis Vuitton, and headed into the house after Legolas.

"Oh my goodness! Is this place not amazing! I mean look out the back! It's on a river! That means I keep up my tan, don't you agree Jeffery? Well, it seems I'm the first one here, I'm going to pick out the best bedroom. Come Jeffery, bring my bags!" Legolas proceeded to glide up the stairs to the second floor, and headed to one of the rooms facing out over the river. The room was a light purple, almost lavender color, with a white chest of drawers and side table. On the farthest wall, was a door leading out to a balcony, with a palm tree growing right in front. On one of the other walls was a full length mirror, and a walk in closet. The bed was a queen sized with white covers that had little purple flowers on them."Oh this is fab! Jeffery! This is the one, you may bring my bags in here!" He walked over to the bed and placed his big ass purse of the bed, right when a car, blasting obsecene rap music, pulled up.

"OH! It must be one of my roomies! I better go meet them!" He ran out the door and downstairs just in time to see a short man with curly reddish brown hair step out of a Cadillac Low Rider. He was wearing Sean John sweats that looked atleast five sizes to big for him, a hat crookedly sitting on his mop of hair, a long silverchain with PIP in diamonds, and a grill. "Yo, my playah? Whats goin down? My name's Pippin, but you can call me the big P-I-P! WHATT!" Pippen walked up to Legolas, whose fair face held a look of utter disgust, and tried to be all gangster and do this fancy little hand shake (AN: You know, the ones all the guys do?), fumbling his hands and pounding fists for about five minutes before Legolas jerked his perfectly manicured hand back. "It's...ahem, nice to meet you Big...Pip? My name is Legolas. I have already picked my room and my stuff should already be in there, feel free to go find a room for yourself." said Legolas slowly backing away from the strange short man. "Sho thing playah. Peace." with that Pippin, aka Big Pip, walked into the mansion to find a room.

He chose a room on the second floor right above the car pool. The room was a baby blue color with white furniture. He had a small closet, a chest of drawers, a night table, and a mirror hanging on the wall. The window looked straight out over the driveway, which held a fountain in the shape of a lion spouting water form his mouth.

"Yo man, this is some sweet action!" he said looking out the window. "Yo Big L...is it cool if I call you that man?" "No, it asbolutely is not. You can call me my correct name." "Chill man, I gotcho back. Anyway, where be's yo room?" "Um, I'll show you. Kindly follow me." With that the two headed towards Legolas' room only to here another car pull in. "Looks like mo' of da peeps is here. Let's go check 'em out." Pippin bounded down the stairs and out the door while Legolas slowly walked behind him rolling his eyes and flipping his hair.

Outside a young woman stepped out of the silver porshce, she had pointed ears, just like Legolas. She was wearing a Gucci traveling suit and Chanel shades while carryng the exact same purse that Legolas owned, how odd. "Yo man look! Its a sweet ass looking shawty! I'm a pull that" whispered Pippin while eagerly looking her up and down. "You know, I can here all that you're saying over there, and I would never, not in a million years, ever touch anything that looked like you. Got it?" the woman said while glaring down at Pippin. Legolas hit him in the back of the head and walked forward before Pippin could do anyhting else to embarass him, "Hello, like my name is Legolas, and I adore you're purse, in fact I have one just like it!" he said while grinning towards the woman. "Oh my god? Really how cool! My name's Arwen, nice to meet you!" she replied while smiling at Legolas, but in her eyes was the look of utter confusion, "What the hell? Is he gay? He's too good looking to be gay!" was all she thought to herself before Pippin ran foward to introduce himself. "What up shawty! My name's Pippin. But you sweet thang can call me the Love Doctor." smirked Pippin while winking to Arwen. "Ew." was all she said before she pushed past him to the house, "If you don't leave me alone, my daddy will send people to take care of you. Now, which rooms are yours so that I can chose one?" Legolas pushed past her into the house and headed up stairs, "Mine is the lavender one and halfwit over there is in the room over the car pool. You can chose any other one you want." Arwen walked towards the far right side of the house, the opposite end of Legolas' and Pippin's rooms. She chose the room on the very end, it faced out over the river just like Legolas' but it was a creamy orange color. The furniture was a light pink, and the sheets on the bed were also a light pink color. She had an open closet that was circular, and there was a mirror on top of the chest of drawers. She also had a small desk in the corner of her room, right next to a window facing out over the right side of the property. "This house is nothing like daddy's, but it will have to do." she thought as she gazed out the window. Just then Legolas walked in to tell her another guest had arrived.

Together all three of the guests walked out on to the front porch to greet their new roomate. Out of the Volkaswagon van stepped a darkly tanned man with shoulder length brown hair. He had a beard and carried a surfboard under one arm. He was wearing a pair of boarding shorts and a quiksilver shirt. "Hey dudes and duddette! Hows it goin?" He said grinning up the to the other guests. "Oh man. He's gorgeous." was the thought running through both Legolas' and Arwen's head. The two started pushing eachother to be the first one down the stairs, but they were both beat by Pippin. "Whatup brother? My names Pippin but you can call me Big Pip, thats what blondy over there calls me, " in the background Legolas and Arwen were still fighting over who would be the first to introduce themselves to the new housemate, finally Legolas shoved Arwen down and raced forward. "I do not call him that, he only wishes. Anyway, like, my names Legolas, it's a **pleasure** to meet you..." "Sweet, my names Aragorn. Excellent. Whats the dudette's name over there?" Arwen still hadn't gotten up off the ground, she was crying over her glasses that had gotten smushed in the tussle. Legolas scowled while Pippin answered, "Her name's Arwen, she's a hot babe isn't she?" "Yeah little man, now which one of you dudes is gonna point out you're rooms so I can chose my pad?" asked Aragron while looking between Legolas and Pippin. "Mine is the lavender one on the far left, Pippin's is over the car pool , and drama queens over there is the orange one on the far right, you can have any of the others. Come, I'll show you some." Legolas grabbed Aragorn's hand and whisked him into the house before Arwen could protest.

"Chillax dude, we got time. No need ot run around like a chicken with it's head cut off. This house is totally rad." Aragorn said while walking in and out of all the rooms Legolas was tugging him into. Finally, they went back downstairs to see the room that was supposed to be out on the grounds. There was a little hut on to the side of the mansion, inside was a room that looked like it just fell out of the Caribbean. There were shells all over the walls and on shelves. There were racks for surf boards and other things. "Sweet. This is the one man. I'm can feel it!" Aragorn said while grinning around at the room he had chosen. At that time a car door opening was heard, and all the present guests walked towards the front yard.

**Author's Note**: It seemed like this was a good stopping point. Alright let me explain a few things first. Before all you Legolas fan's out there start flaming me, I love Legolas just as much as the next person. In fact he's my favorite character, but it just seemed like he would be the easiest to portray as gay. I meant no harm. Also, Gandalf will not be present in this fic because he's just a little to old to actually fit in, if you get what I mean. And I know they're on a river not an ocean, and I know Aragorn can't surf in a river, but he's a surfer, he takes his board everywhere, and that just seemed like a detail that needed to be included, especially in the room he chose. Alright thats it, the next chapter will finish introducing the characters. I hoep you enjoyed it! Reviews are loved! I'll give you a cookie if you do! Also, if you would like to see a picture of the house I based the Big Brother house on, check my profile, they're should be a hyper link.


	2. Chapter 2

Big Brother: LOTR Style.

Disclaimer: Still nothing. For now.

**Author's note: **Again, tell me what you think! And give me some ideas of what you would like to see in future chapters!

Chapter Two: Meeting the roomies cont.

When Legolas, Aragorn, Arwen, and Pippin arrived around front they saw a short man with dark curly hair carrying a guitar, glaring up at the house. He was wearing all black. Black pants, and a black band shirt with black converses. He was glaring around at the property when the other finally approached him. Legolas hid behind Aragorn peering over his shoulder while he walked forward to introdue himself. "Hey dude! Welcome! My names Aragorn and this here is Legolas! The dudettes name is Arwen and the other dude is Pippin! What's you're name?" The boy stared at Aragorn's outstretched hand like he wished it would wilt and fall off. "I hate you." he said before pushing them aside heading inside. "Oh my goodness! What a jerk!" Legolas stated finally coming out from behind Aragon, you see, he seemed to enjoy the view from behind. "Yo man what be his problem yo?"aksed Pippin flailing his arms around.

"Can you please speak in coherent sentences?" asked Arwen glaring at Legolas who was holding on to Aragorn's arm.

"Yo shaawty I am!"

"No. You aren't. I'm going inside to see which room this new kid picks." she headed in doors as the other fell in behind her. They walked up stairs following the sound of strumming on a guitar. It lead them to the room in the attic. The room had red walls with black furniture and sheets. "Well, now doesn't that just fit his personality perfectly?" stated Legolas looking around the room.

"Get out." Was all the roomates heard before the door slammed shut.

"You know, we still don't know his name! And my daddy won't like the way he's treating me." grumbled Arwen as she stalked back down the stairs, shooting Legolas glares laced with venom. But it was like Legolas didn't even notice, he just kept walking and talking to Aragorn who was paying almost no attention to what he said. Right as the reached the bottom of the staircase they heard the crunch of gravel, signifying the approach of another house guest.

The stepped out on the poarch to see an old stationwagon sitting there. Out of it stepped short, kinda chunky man with curly reddish hair. He was wearing glasses, suspender, brown pants and loafers, and a brown stripped button down shirt. He walked, more like waddled, towards the others, sniffing and pushing his glasses up his nose with every step he took."Hullo you guys, my name is Samwise Gamgee. It's nice to make your aquiantance." he sayed while stretching his hand out towards Aragorn, who quickly took it and shook it vigorously. "Excellent. My names Aragorn. Nice to meet you. This here is Legolas, Pippin, and Arwen. Welcome to you're new pad!" he replied pointing to each person respectively. "There is another roomate, but he was like totally scary! And didn't introduce himself so, we can't tell you who he is." added Legolas, looking down his nose at Sam.

"It's very nice to meet you all. Now I would like to go find my room if you don't mind" with that Sam headed into the house and up the stairs. He found a room right in the middle of the house. facing out over the front yard. The room was a basic off whtie color, with wooden furniture. There was dresser, a nightstand and a desk on which a brand new flat scrren moniter and computer sat. After he put away his stuff he returned downstairs just in time to here another car pull in. The other roomates, minus the MIA one, were already out on the porch watching the car to see who stepped out. The car was a big Checy truck with dirt all over the side. Out stepped a short squat man with a burly beard. "Ho ho! My name is Gimli! And who might you be?" he asked while walking towards the front door. This time Legolas stepped forward to introduce everyone, some how managing to knock Arwen off the porch while he was at it. "Like hello Gimili! My name is Legolas, thats Aragorn, Pippin, Sam, and the women in the bushes is Arwen. It's nice to meet you." The dawrf grabbed Legolas' hand and roughly shook it up and down, making Legolas' whole body move with the action. Out of the bushes you could here Arwen laughing her head off, until Legolas kicked her in the butt. Gimli walked into the house to find his room, and found one on the first floor. The walls were made of stone and had a fireplace in one wall. He had a sliding glass door for one wall, and the furniture was a black color to match the tones of the stone. The sheets were also black. After placing his stuff into his room he headed out to see the other roomates when he heard the approach of another car.

Outside a clean looking honda wound it's way towards the front door. Sitting in the front seat was a young man with curly brown hair, that was wearing a suit. When the car came to a stop he hoped out of the car carrying a box of antiseptic wipes. "Hello. My name is Meridoc. It is a pleasure to meet you." he proceeded to shake hands with the roomates, using a new wipe everytime he grabbed on of their hands. He headed into the house, spraying Lysol into the air as he went. Legolas almost passed out when he walked him his room to see Merry spraying the Lysol on all of his belongings before heading out to the other rooms. Merry chose a room that was on the second floor, in the middle facing out over the river. He's room was stark white. Everything was white including the bed sheets and furniture. He unpacked his stuff, which he had in plastic bags so that they wouldn't get dirty. As he was unzipping the other bag he heard the unmistakable sound of a car heading up the driveway.

The seven housemates, missing the other one whose name was still unknown the the housemates, awaited the arrival of the last roomate. As the car came to a stop they saw woman with long blonde hair step out of the car. She was wearing a tie-dye shirt and had a huge peace sign for a necklace. "Hello my housemates. My names is Eowyn. It is groovy to meet you."she said, her voice like a whisper. She looked through tiny glasses at each memeber of the crew, who all had identical looks of 'What the hell?" on there faces. Finally Pippin walked forward to introduce everyone. After the introducitons, including that of the mystery housemate, Eowyn went in to find her room. She chose one on the first floor, close to Aragorns. The walls were tiedyed and the furniture was a baby blue color with graffitti written on them. She had French doors that opened up straight onto the yard. As she finished packing she walked out into the living room, to find all the roomates gathered together discussing the mystery roomate. Just then the intercoms around the room turned on and a loud voice boomed throught out the house.

"Welcome all, to BIG BROTHER! Now that all roomates are here, I'm going to get down to business."

"Is that you GOD?" Legolas stared at Arwen like she had a thousand heads popping out of her neck.

"No it's not God, you nincompoop!" he shouted as he slapped her in the back of the head.

"AS I WAS SAYING!" boomed the voice making both Arwen and Legolas cover their sensitive ears and quail. "As you know, we have challenges on this show, and the first challenge you eight will face will be...FINDING OUT WHAT THE OTHER GUEST'S NAME IS!! Won't that be fun?"

"Are you crazy? That nigga is psycho, he'd pop a cap in some ones head fo sho man!" yelled Pippin while shaking his head.

"I think it shounds like a groovy idea. We should try it. To get in touch with eachothers aura."replied Eowyn looking around at the other housemates.

"I'd rather keep my aura away from yours thanks." replied Legola scooting closer to Aragorn who was looking around the room trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. Arwen was sitting in the lazy boy because she couldn't fit onto the love seat Aragorn and Legolas were sharing. "Damn that elf" she thought shooting said elfs glares that would make Sauron look like a fluffy puppy.

Gimili was just sitting watching Merry throughly sanitize the chair he was about to sit in, paying no attention to what they were supposed to do. And Sam was taking notes on what the big voice said.

"ANYWAY!" yelled the voice agian "You have two days to complete this challenge, fail and you will face the consequences. Good luck, and good bye."

With that a punctuated silence settled on the housemates as they all thought the same thing, How were the EVER gonna find out the ninth roomates name?

**Author's Note:** Tell me what you think?! And give me some ideas as to how the roomies are gonna find out the mystery guests name! Reviews are loved! Flames are used in cooking my dinner!


	3. Chapter 3

Big Brother: LOTR Style.

Disclaimer:

Legolas: Like, OMG, she owns nothing! But like this Tolkien guy, owns so much more than her

K-Dig: Thanks for making me feel better bud.

Lefolas: Anytime!

K-Dig: grumbles On to the story.

**Review thanks:**

**Rae Simmons**: Thank a lot for your ideas! They definitly helped me out. I'm not sure exactly which one I'm aiming for him to be, I just kinda wanted a stereotype. No, I'm definitly not trying to be deep, I could never figure out how to make him super angsty and stuff, so that's the best I can offer! If you have any suggestions for him just go ahead and let me know!

**Dragons Blade**: I'm glad you're enjoying my story so far. I kind wanted soem sort of conflict, and that just kinda popped out at me. So there you go, Legolas and Arwen now hate eachother. But that might change, you never know. Thanks for you suggestions, but in this fic I'm making them completely non related. It just kinda flows better with everone just meeting eachother for the first time you know? Thats definitly where I got the idea for him to be emo.

**Lost November Sky**: I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review!

Chapter 3: Let's do this!

"You know, we could always hold him at gun point until he tells who he is?" stated Legolas while examing his nails,on the hand that had some how snaked around Aragorns neck. Aragorn was kinda of oblivious to his touch seeing as how he was still pondering who and where the voice was.

"Thats just dumb, you, you idotic elf! we could get in some serious trouble for that!" yelled Arwen while glaring daggers. Legolas only smirked back.

"I didn't mean a real gun, hun. I meant Mr. Meridoc's Lysol can. We could act like it was a gun. Aragorn, because he's just sooooo brave, could hold the "gun" behind his back and knock the door in. We could all jump in and surround the kid, and Aragorn being all macho like he is could simply say 'Tell me you're name, or I'll shoot you." And if he resists, he'll beshowered by Lysol." Legolas looked around smugly at all the casts mate waiting to see what they would see to his proposition.

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard."scoffed Arwen looking at Legolas like she wished he would just spontaneously compust right where he was sitting.

"Coming from you darling, thats a compliment."

"Oh shut up would you two! I think Legolas' idea could work, I mean, you never know." said Gimili, still watching Merry do a routine check up of the foot stool he was about to place his feet. All the other housemates, other than Arwen, nodded their heads in agreement. Legolas shoot Arwen a smug look before looking back down at Aragorn who had fallen asleep on his lap. Not meaning too of course.

"Have you all gone mad?" Arwen asked frantically looking around to find someone who was on her side. Nope, not a soul. "Oh fine. I'll agree to do it, even though I think it's a pretty stupid idea." she huffed and sat back in her chair, still shooting Legolas comtemptuous looks.

"Perfect. So, Merry hand over your Lysol and we'll start now so we can get this over with." Legolas gently shook Aragorn awake and went to retrieve the can.

"No you may not have my Lysol! I need it! I'll die without it!" shouted Merry craddling the can his arms.

"Now honestly, you can't be serious?" stated Legolas while slowly advancing on Merry, "Just hand it over, you can have it back afterwards, who knows, we might not even need to use it!" Legolas lunged forward just to be met in the face with a stream of Lysol.

'ARRRGGGGGGGG! You little bitch! You just blinded me! Aragorn! Help me! I can't see!" Legolas was walking around flailing his arms trying to keep his balance. Arwen was smirking, until Aragorn ran over to help Legolas into a chair. Sam walked out of the room, and returned with a new can of Lysol.

"Here, this one is brand new. It will have better quality, we'll just use it." he said handing the can to Aragorn who was watching Legolas moan about his eyes.

"Right. Let's do this." Aragorn said before heading towards the stairs. The others, including Legolas who had regained some his vision, fell in line behind him. When they reached the attic, they heard music and singing coming out from under the door. Arwen and Legolas were shoving each other out of the way trying to stand next to Aragorn. Until Eowyn fell in beside him.

"You know, he is acctually quite good. His aura is quite dark though." stated Eowyn closing her eyes and acted like she was smelling the air. The others looked at each other asking the silent, What the fuck? "Yes, it's quite dark. Almost black."

"Gee thank you Miss. Cleo. Can we continue?" asked Legolas crossing his arms and glaring at the wall, where he swore he saw her standing. That is until Merry pointed out she was in the opposite direction.

"Right So I'm gonna like go pounce on this dude, ya'll are gonna stand gaurd around me. And we'll find out his name. Narly, let's go." with that Aragorn slammed the door open and all the others swarmed in and surround the mysterious roomate sitting on the floor. Said boy glared at all the roomates. Aragorn walked forward, shaking every step he took.

"Um gulp like dude, tell me your name, or I'll-

"BUST A CAP IN YO HEAD SON!" shouted Pippin, knowing Aragorn's threat wasn't doing much. Pippen walked forward and grabbed the can and stashed in his back pocket with his hand resting on it, like it was the hilt of a sword. "Now, playah, give us yo name, or it's lights out fo yo ass!" Pippen glared down at the roomate sitting on the floor.

"Eat shit." was the reply he got.

"Oh hell nah!" with that Pippin jumped on the glaring roomate before the others could even blink their eyes. He was holding the guys head down and spraing Lysol all over his body, the guy was smart enought o clsoe his eyes, evne then some might have leaked in.

"FINE!" He roared!"I'll tell you my name if you just get off of me and stop spraying me you little bitch!"

Pippen jumped off and stood above the man on the floor, he made to jump again, making the other guy flinch. "Thats what I thought man, now what's yo name?"

"Frodo."

"See now, that wasn't so hard, all you had to do was say it in the first place and you wouldn't be dripping Flower scented Lysol." Legolsa said smiling down at the bed, before Aragorn turned him around. "So, how would you like to join us for a cosmopolitan downstairs?" All the roomates gaped at him, wasn't the challenge just to get the new guy's name? Not to have cocktails with him!

"No. You know my name, now get the hell out." with he shoved all the roomates into the hall, and slammed the door. A loud click could be heard, signaling that he had locked them out.

"Well, that went well don't you think?" asked Eowyn looking at the other housemates. They just turned and stared at her.

**Author's Note**: I know this chapter sort of short, I only wanted it to be an introducer of Frodo. The next will hopefully be a bit longer. The next chapter will be the first part of the confessionals. From then on, only a few of the housemates will be together in a chapter, it's kinda hard writing with all of them included! So tell me who you want to see first! Reviews are wonderful! I might not be able to update until the weekend! I have a game three days this week, and then practice everyother day. Sorry! I'll update as soon as I can!


	4. Chapter 4

Big Brother: LOTR Style.

Disclaimer:

Aragorn: Narly.

K-Dig: That's not what i told you to say.

Aragorn: I forgot.

K-Dig: ...Are you serious?

Aragorn: Totally, betty.

K-Dig: Where's Pippin?

Pippin: Her son! I gotcho numbah, K-Dig don't own shit. So don't tell nobody she does.

K-Dig: **walks away.**

Chapter Four: Confessions of the Housies. Partemento Uno.

"You know what i think about that blonde bimbo? I mean, really, Aragorn doesn't even care about them. That bitch just needs to back off. Last time I heard, Aragorn was into girls, not ugly fat elves who throw themselves on anything that walks. Legless is so gay, he reeks 'I'm a fag'. I mean, honestly. What a douche?' Arwen was sitting in the chair venting off all her rage about Legolas to the cameramen, that really didn't give a shit. It just payed them good money.

"The other day, I went out on my balcony and turned to my left, and damn if that gayboy wasn't sitting out on his balcony tanning. In the nude. I don't even do that, and I'm a female! Is that normal? No.'

"Is that all you're gonna talk about?" asked one of the camramen who was tired of hearing about this gay elf she was going on and on about. Arwen shot him a venom filled glare.

"No, I'm getting there. Don't even get me started on that Pippin. It's like he never went to some type of educational faclity, other than prison. Who talks like that anymore? Especailly a white hobbit. And his clothes! They could fit Gimli they're so big! And the way he walks around the house rapping! He's terrible at it! But does he listen when anyone asks him to stop? NOOOOOO! He has to get louder. So the other day, I knocked him down the stairs, and he bit his tongue, that was the last time I heard him try to rap. So then he started carrying around an iPod, and listening to rap music. So he decides, if I can't sing it, how bout I dance to it? So now he's going around trying to do the, whats that one by Soldier man?

"Do you mean Soulja Boy?"

"Yeah Yeah, that the one? Whats the new one he came out with?"

"Crank Dat Superman?"

"Bingo. Well, thats even worse because he knocks things over when he "Supermans that hoe". He knocked my perfume over yesterday and it broke. I'm pissed. "

"AND THEN!!! That Merry guy? What is his problem? The other day I breathed next to him, and he fucking doused me in LYSOL!!! It's like he should be in a bubble. And thats it. He shouldn't be allowed in public, the fruit. I still haven't gotten the Lysol scent out of my hair. Then Gimli, he's obssessed with stones, he almost broke my fiinger the other day trying to get the ring my daddy bought me. My daddy's gonna get mad at him if he breaks it! And that Eowyn girl drives me crazy! The other day, I walked into the living room, and she was doing some dumb pilates, yoga shit talking about 'It will open your senses, and free your mind.' I was like dude, get a life. Then that Frodo kid, he never leaves his room. EVER. All we hear is him playing his guitar in his room. Like a loner. I bet he's like in love with the Teletubbies or something and just wants people to think he's cool. Well, he's not. SO there. And tta Sam guy, what a nerd. All he does is sit on his computer, doing... nerdy... stuff. My daddy's not gonna like how these people are treating me, he's probably gonna sue all the money out of all of them. Especially Pansy Prancy boy. I hope he goes broke. Thats another thing, all he wears is like Abercrombie and Fitch, and like Hollister, thats like for poor people! Please.""

"So do you like any of the roomates?" the producer asked, his ears bleeding from all her ranting and babbling about nothing.

"Oh of course! Aragorn is just to die for! He's amazing. And so gorgeous. I think he likes me, because the other day, he saved me a seat at breakfast. But then he left to go wakeboarding. But he gave me his napkin and said 'Thanks betty.' Even though thats not my name, I knew he ment me." She looked blissfully at the wall, missing the looks the crew were giving eachother.

"Well, thats all the time you have for now, we have to get atleast one more roomate in here so, bye." the producer shoved her out and wiped his brow. 'Lets bring in Sam, he looks like a nice guy."

Boy were they right.

**Sam**

"So, how do you like it here so far?' prompted one of the soundmen ,they had been sitting in silence for like thirty minutes since Sam got in there.

'It's alright. The computer's nice. Very high tech, with an introguynamic chip. (continues with intellectual speech)..."

"Err...thanks. But I meant do you like any of the housemates so far?"

"Yes. They're nice."

**Silence**

'Errr..right well, thanks again. NEXT!"

**Aragorn**

"Dude, the wakboarding here is sick! I got some narly wave action the other day. It was amazing. But I supposed I should talk about the cast right? Well, is that Legolas person a guy or a girl? I can't tell? I mean his voice is manly, but he looks like a sweet chick. Like, I wish I could find out, I'm so confused now. Cuase he...she...IT would be one hot female! That Arwen's a whiny daddy's girl, but she's hot. She's already thinking I want to marry her because I dropped my napkin in her lap. It freaked me out. That Pippen dude's pretty narly at wakeboarding too! But he didn't get as much sweet action as me. His dancing is amazing. He did this one thing, and broke Arwen's perfume, she got so mad, but dude, he was so excited about it! It was some rad. That Eowyn chicks pretty hot too. Other than her outworldy personality. She kinda wierds me out some, but I can look past that.

I wonder if that Frodo kid is like, a secret Barney fan or something? Cause that dude's always stuck up in his room. playing his 'tar, never coming to chill. He freaks out if we like even touch his landing! I wanna know what he does up there in secret, for real, who doesn't?

Man, I really wish I could go surfing here, hey, I wonder if I can like, get straps for my surf board and hold a rope, and GET PULLED BEHING THE BOAT! THAT WOULD BE NARLY! I'm gonna go try it. Peace." Aragorn got up and shot out of the room before anyone could say anything.

'Well, that went terribly well...didn't it?" asked the producer smiling at all the groaning crew members.

**Authors Note: This is supposed to be a short chapter, tell me what you think.And if you like it so far? Oh yeah, I don't know what introguynamic means, I just made it up. ANd I don't think Hollister and Abrecrombie si for poor people, cause I wear it, and it's exspensive.Can anyone reconize an up coming conflict? Tell me if you can. I'll try to update once more this week with the second part. If there's any confusion about something, just let me know and I'll try to clear it up for you! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Please?!?!?!?**


	5. Chapter 5

Big Brother: LOTR Style

**Author's Note: **Wow, I've kinda been neglecting this story! I'M SO SORRRYYYYY! I'll try to make it up to you! Well, I know the last chapter was part of the confessions the rest of the confessions will be the next chapter, I kinda had an idea for a challenge, thanks in part to **Dragon'sBlade**, thanks for the review by the way, and I hope you enjoy it! Review Review Review!

**Reviews**:

**Dragon'sBlade:I know what you mean, I'm the same way, whenever I read anything about a song I'm like AHH WHAT IS ITT! Well, you'll find out soon!**

**bubblymuggle4: I'm glade you liked it! Woo-hoo. You're review made me feel extra bubbly...ahem. Anyway thanks again!**

Chapter Five: To Be The Best, That No One Ever Was.

"GOOOOOOODDDD MORNING HOUSE MATES! Team to rise and shine!" boomed that loud obnoxious voice over the intercom, waking the whole house. "Meet in the living room to recieve your next challenge." No one stirred. "GET HELL UP AND START MOVING YOU BRATS!" Everyone jumped out of their beds and started to scramble around trying to get ready. "Much better. Thank you."

"Damn bipolar voice, needs to realize some of us need our beauty sleep."grumbled Arwen stomping down the stairs.

"Oh honey, you need much more than that to fix your problem." smirked Legolas while flouncing gracefully down the stairs to sit in the same E-Z boy chair that Aragorn was sitting in.

"Why you little bitch, come over here so I can fix YOUR problem! You little gay ass witch."

"If anyone were gonna solve me problem, it defintly wouldn't be you, you'd end up making it worse." Legolas drapped his arm over Aragorn's shoulder, who was still half asleep, and smirked when Arwen stiffened in the chair across from them.

"You know, Aragorn's not gay."

"He doesn't know that yet. We'll see what he chose by the end of this hun."

"I hate you."

"Feelings mutual."

"I loa-"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!!!!" yelled Gimli scratching his head and shuffling into the room, making Legolas and Arwen grimace at his appearance. He was wearing nothing but whitey tighties. Oh joy.

"What up my nigs?!" shouted Pippen flopping down ont eh couch next to a nervous Merry, he didn't want to lose his Lysol. Pippin's shout lead to him being drenched in Lysol. "WHAT THE HELL BITCH?" he said flipping off the couch.

"You scared me." replied Merry matter of factly.

"And thats how you get back at me?" Merry merrily nodded, Pippen shot him a glare and walked over to the love seat to sit beside Eowyn.

"Good morning, I hope you all slept well?" boomed the voice, finally waking Aragorn up. "Today we have a very interesting challenge, it will taking daringness, a love for music, and a whole lot of balls. Are you ready to know what this magical, exciting, superfradulisticalmistica-"

"JUST TELL US WHAT IT IS ALREADY!" The housemates shouted at once.

'Sheesh, whose got a bee in their bonnet? Anyway, the challenge is...drumrole please...YOU MUST FIND OUT WHAT SONG FRODO HAS BEEN PLAYING SINCE HE GOT HERE! WOO-HOO! Sounds like fun right?" The cast sweatdropped before looking around at eachother.

"Does everyone have to do this challenge?" voiced Sam, looking nervously around the room, hoping he wouldn't have to do this.

'No, in fact thats what I was just about to tell you. The rules. Only three of you will be needed for this drill. You will vote on who will be in that group, and if they fail, they must be punishedfor the loss. You have until this time tomorrow to find out what song it will be. I will be back in ten minutes to find out who you have chosen to complete this challenge. Time to deliberate." Click. Then there was silence. Everyone was looking at everyone confused as hell, hoping they wouldn't be voted in.

"I have an idea," shouted Pippin, for no reason, he looked around to make sure he had everyones attention before continuing, "We can write the name of the person we want to nominate then put it in the hat, and count up who has the most votes? Sound good?" Everyone nodded, it sounded like a decent plan. That or they couldn't think of anything else. "Great, get to it bitches." Everyone sent furitive glances around the room before casting their vote. Once everyone was done, Pippin went to gather the votes and began counting them out.

"Well, heres the low down, my nig Aragorn, Legolas (A YES! could be heard in the background), and that shawty Arwen (to collective groans) are the ones who have to do this. Good luck my playahs." Pippin flashed the peace sign before heading back to bed. te rest of the house followed. Legolas and Arwen sent eachother glares, before fighting over Aragrn' approval.

"Well, who has been chosen?" asked the voice.

"Me, Legolas and Aragorn."replied Arwen glaring at Legolas.

"Excellent, good luck." CLICK.

"I HAVE AN IDEA !! We should just go ask him!" shouted Arwen with a hopeful look in her eyes. Legoals looked at her like she was stupid.

"Are you stupid? That would never work, we have to have more class than that, plus it didn't work with his name, so why should it work with this song. I think one of us should go up there, strike up a conversation about their favorite things, and then slowly move to music, and maybe we'll figure it out then. what do you think Aragorn?" Legolas sent Aragorn a breathetaking smile, and Aragorn just nodded dumbly, transfixed by his pearly whites. "Well, thats the winner."

"You cheated!" yelled Arwen jumping to her feet, "You wooed him with your smile!"

"I did no such thing you petty little girl, now go, we have to get this right. Do you know what you're going ot say?"

"ME? Who said I had to do it? And leave you with Aragorn by yourself?"

"And why shouldn't you?"

"Because who knows what you'd do to him."

"Well I'm not going to do it!"

"Oh yes you are!" They jumped in front of eachother and stared eachother down, with their foreheads touching.

"SHUT UP ALREADY I'LL DO IT IF ITS THAT BIG OF A DEAL!!"shouted Aragorn tired of their constant bickering. They instantly shut up. 'Good, now Legolas, I really think you should do this because you're a lot smoother then Arwen, (she scoffed at Legolas when he sent her a smirk) and you can pull it off.

"Fine, I'll do it just for you Aragorn. In fact, I'll do it now." with that Legolas gracefully skipped up the stairs leaving a seething Arwen in his wake.

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped to make sure his hair was in place, before banging on Frodo's door. The door slammed open revealing a tousled haired hobbit rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Hello housemate! I just thought I could come up here and get to know you, you know, since I know every one else and stuff. Sounds good? Good." Legolas shoved Frodo back in his room, shut the door, and stuck a chair in front of it before Frodo could even react.

"What the hell?" grumbled Frodo looking curiously up at Legolas.

"_Excellent, this should be so easy now."_ Legolas thought looking around Frodo's room curiously. One thing he noticed was, it was covered in POKeMON posters. And there were gamces and cards EVERYWHERE. _"What, a dork."_

"Right. So, what do you want?" asked Frodo, fully awake now, but not with his full guard up yet.

" Well, I just wanted to come up and get to know you, because like, I already no the rest of the housemates, except for you, and it seems like I can relate to you better." replied Legolas smiling sweetly at Frodo who had his eybrow cocked up. "Um alright, where to start."

"How about getting out of my room?"

"Well that wouldn't help anything SILLY!" Legolas said smiling, flicking his wrist, while Frodo, cringed. "I think we should talk about our intrests? Hows that?"

"Sound like you want to date me."

"Um, definitly not. Moving on..." Legolas pulled out a ist of his favorite things and began to prattle on and on about all of his likes and dislikes, causing Frodo to start to drop off to sleep. "Opps, enough about me, what doYOU like?"

"Music."

"OH! ME TOO! I think that was number four hundred, right after drinking Starbucks. Anyways, what's your favorite song?

'I have too many. Are we done yet?"

"NO! Well, which one is the one we keep hearing you play all the time?" Legolas sent him an innocent look, while Frodo glared suspiciously at him.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because...I want to download it so I can put it on my iPod because it sounds really good when you play it!" Legolas shouted out in one breathe. Frodo seemed to lighten up at this.

"Really you like that song too?"

"Yeah. Totally. Now whats the name?"

"How about I just play it for you first?"

"Sh-sh-SURE!" said Legolas gritting his teeth, this was taking way to long for him.

"Excellent!" Frodo went to retrieve his guitar. Suddenly the lights went out and Legoals was frantically looking around the room, looking for Frodo. Suddenly, spotlights landed on Frodo in the very front of the room, wearing a hat, looking at the ground, carrying a guitar. Legolas could see some writing on the hat but couldn't recognise the language, but he could tell the hat looked familiar. Frodo began strumming the guitar faster and faster until he finally got the tempo he wanted and continued for a while. Suddeny his head shot up, turned his hat around, and started singing...

**I wanna be the very best,  
Like no one ever was.  
To catch them is my real test,  
To train them is my cause... **

Legolas sweatdropped, like in those animes, before falling off the bed at Frodo's odd fascination. And dance moves. (A/N: I'll have a link in my profile for the video I'm thinking his moves are like, I don't really want to describe them, so watch the video, and you should be able to follow.)

**I will travel across the land,  
Searching far and wide,  
These Pokémon to understand,  
The power that's inside.**

**Pokémon...gotta catch 'em all!!  
it's you and me...  
I know it's my destiny  
**

**Pokémon...Oh..you're my best friend,  
in a world we must defend.  
Pokémon...gotta catch 'em all!!**

**A heart so true--our courage will pull us through!  
You teach me and I'll teach you!  
Pokémon!  
Gotta Catch 'Em All!  
Gotta Catch 'Em All!**

**Every challenge along the way  
With courage I will face,  
I will battle every day  
To claim my rightful place,**

**Come with me the time is right  
There's no better team,  
On and on we'll win the fight **

**It's always been our dream, Pokémon,  
Gotta catch them all  
It's you and me,**

**I know it's my destiny, Pokémon,  
Oh, your my best friend,  
In a world we must defend, Pokémon,  
Gotta catch 'em all,**

**A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through,  
You teach me,  
And I teach you, Pokémon,  
Gotta catch 'em all,  
Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon.**

He finished with his head bowed, breathing hard. Legolas took this as his chance to escape and ran out the room and collapsed in the living room. Once Frodo realized he was gone, he shouted for him to come back and sing it with him, but Legolas was not about to do that.

"So, did you find out what it was?" asked Arwen ignoring the fact that he looked extremely tramautized. Aragorn was bending over him worriedly, flapping a magazine trying to cool him down.

"Yes..it was horrible."

"Well, what was it?" By then the rest of the house was gathered around Legolas who was nowing leaning against Aragorn, breathing heavily.

"The, the ,the-"

"THE WHAT?!?!?" Shouted Arwen getting steadily angrier the longer Legolas leaned on Aragorn.

"The Pokemon theme song." Eowyn and Arwen shrieked clawing at their ears, while the guys all screamed and fell to their knees.

"WHY US!?!?!" shouted Aragorn looking up to the sky, as if awaiting an answer.

'Be cause I thought it would be fun." boomed the voice from the speakers, making everyone jump, except for Aragorn, who was looking around surprised,

"God? You really do answer?" he shouted jumping to his feet, the housemates all hit their foreheads into their palms and shoke their heads. You could even hear the overhead voice doing it.

"Anyawy, as I was saying, good job Legolas, you did it in only three hours, without your teamates, which means, they will have to SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"

"What? We get punished? Why? He did it but we were part of a team, doesn't that count?" yelled Arwen glaring at the intercom. As if that could do anything.

'Techniqually, he was the only one who got tramautized. Not you too. And actually, only one of you gets punished, and Legolas gets to chose. Now stop glaring at me." Arwen flinched and sent a scared look at Legolas, only to have him return an evil smile.

"I know just the person. Arwen didn't do much, she will do it!" he smirked up at her, while she looked nervously around the room.

"Well, thats a bummer shawty." said Pippin trying to console her, only to have her slap his hand away and run to her room. There they heard an earsplitting scream and they all sprinted up the stairs to see her covered in paint, and feathers.

"Well, guess she's already gotten her punishment, see you all later." hte voice signed off, the parting words were never heard over the laughter of the cast.

Meanwhile, in the other part of the house, a lone figure stood, playing his guitar, with his hat turned backwards.

**Author's Note: **So, let me know what you think! You know the drill.


	6. Chapter 6

Big Brother: LOTR Style.

**Author's Note: **dodges flying food I'M SO SORRY! I actually lsot some inspiration for my story, until today that is. SO if you're lucky, you migth get two chapters, in the same day! Woot! Anyway, Please, forgive me!

**Reviews:**

**Fool-ova-Took:** Thanks! Sorry for the long wait!

**Dragon's Blade**: Yeah, don't know where that came from, just kind hit me! In truth, it was my favorite part of ths fic.

**Rae Simmons: ** Yeah, I've never been good about catching those kinda things! Thanks though!!!

Chapter 6: Confessions, part dos.

In the confessional, the producers where biting nails, pulling out hair, and rocking backward and forwards after there last cast members. It was not a moment to remember. The next roomy walked in and sat in the chair. All you could see, was platinum blonde hair, and orange colored skin, and sunglasses.

"You know, this is getting in the way of my tanning time. Can we make it fast?" snapped Legolas, glancing at the producers for only a moment before returning to looking over his nails.

"Err yes of course, just, say whatever you feel like saying, about anyone in this house." replied the head executive performing the palm to head.

"OH? Why didn't anyone say so!" Legolas jumped upright and removed his sunglasses, and stared straight into the camera. "You know that Arwen girl? Yeah well, talk about daddy's girl! Last week she threatened the overhead voice saying her dad would fire him if he interrupted her beauty sleep anymore. I was all like, Hun, it'll take more than beauty sleep to fix you're mess. She just flipped out, I got it on camera too, I watch it every night before bed so I can laugh a little. She's such a slob too! I mean..."

**Twenty minutes later.**

"And yesterday, she tried to throw ice cream on me, but ended up hitting Ara-"

"Is she ALL that you're going to talk about?" snarled the executive rubbing his temples from the constant chatter/gossip.

"Oh, no." replied Legolas looking abashed.

"Then, kindly, CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"

"Fine, don't be so moody. Now on to Aragorn, oh my he is gorgeous! And I know he likes me better than Arwen, which leads me back to how much she hates me because of this-

"GET OUT!"

"Alright, alright." Legolas grabbed his sunglasses, slammed them back on his face sent a glare at the producers and marched out of the room, allowing Eowyn to waltz in after him.

**Eowyn.**

"Now, do you know what we're doing here?"

"Of course, what do you take me for? An elf?" she replied, her faces as cloudy as usual.

"Oh, so you don't like the elves?" Finally they were getting something on a different note, prejudice.

"I never said that."

"Btu you, I, they, you said-"

"I said I wasn't one, I didn't mean whether I liked them or not."

"Alright then, moving on. What do you think about Aragorn?"

"He's interesting, for a human."

"But aren't you human?"

"Or course." she merely flicked her eyes over the crew members, who were growing constantly more frustrated.

"Welll, why did you say that like he was inferior."

"I never said that either. If you're going to interpret my words against what I said, then I'm leaving. I have meditating to do anyways." Eowyn stood, and waltzed out.

"I've never met a cast as dumb as this one boss." The executive knocked the camera man over.

**Pippin.**

"What up homies!" yelled Pippin circling the room trying to do his dumb handshake with all the camera/sound men, he came to the executive who stared at his hand like it was going to spontaneously combust. Pippin withdrew his hand rather quickly. 'Word, so do I just get to lay off a load on tha camera?"

"Word." replied the camera man nearest him, he received a kick in the back of the head, courtesy of the executive.

"Sweet. Right well, that shawty Arwen, man she's a ten for real!" he held up his two hands and made a perverted face at the camera. "But she's a bit of a diva ya dig? I mean, she can't stand Legolas because he likes Aragorn, who pays more attention to Legolas than Arwen. Hell he pays mo attention to Eowyn who's a weird psychic mamajama." Sweatdrop, who even says that word anymore? "Right which leads me to Eowyn, she's a dime piece too, but a little on the airy side. Still cute though. Next, Merry's a bit of a freak with his Lysol can o whateva. But it's word. Gimli, I've never really talked with tha man, sure he's cool. Leoglas, he's a flama, whateva though, it's cool, he's cool too. We play a lot of pranks on Arwen togetha. Sam, whata nerd, Aragorn's way cool though, way cool. Yeah, Frodo's a mess, neva seen such a lonah, but it's gravy. I'ma piece now. Pippin out." He jumped form the chair flashed a piece sign, and left.

"I think, that was the most normal one we've gotten, ever." The executive slid down the wall with his eyes closed.

**Merry.**

"So where is this Merry character?" questioned one of the sound men leaning against his mike.

"I'm not sure..."

"Oh yeah, here's a note from Pippin saying something about Merry." stated another digging in his pocket. The executive snatched it out of his hand and cuffed him in the back of the head.

"When were you planning on giving it to me?"

'Er..."

"Dumb ass." The executive's face grew steadily redder the longer he read the letter. "Turns out, Merry's a no show, something about too many germs in this room. So lets go to the last one. Gimli."

**Gimli.**

The dwarf came waddling in, and took three minutes just to get into the chair. Finally he turned to the camera, and sat there.

"Right, so, what do I do now?" Simultaneous palm-head action.

"Just say your feelings about your castmates. That's all." replied the executive shaking his head trying to control his composure.

"Right err, I don't like humans, I don't like hobbits ,and I definitely don't like elves. What else?"

"Ah, that's fine, just leave now." The executive proceeded to whack his head against the wall while Gimli waddled back out of the room. What an interesting cast.

**Author's Note:** So there you go, the end of the confessions, for now! Mwuahaha...right. I know it's kinda short but it's supposed to be! So until next time, HAPPY LATE TURKEY DAY!


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